The Reason
by Just A Little Bit Dramatic
Summary: Jasper's thoughts on Alice, set before they met Carlisle. Songfic, rated T just to be safe.


**Okay, we all know Jasper loves Alice, but we don't know about their life before the Cullens, so I was wondering about what would have happened if Jasper had a little relapse into "bloodthirstiness" while he was with Alice. And so, this songfic was born.**

**I do not own Twilight, Jasper, Alice, or any of the characters mentioned in Twilight. And this song (The Reason) was not my own work either.**

_I'm not a perfect person,_

_There are many things I wish I didn't do,_

_But I continue learning,_

_I never meant to do those things to you,_

_And so I have to say before I go,_

_That I just want you to know._

I never meant to hurt her that way. My beautiful angel. My Alice. Seeing the anguish inside her eyes, the disappointment, and worst, the understanding…I never wanted to see those emotions in her again. It struck deep inside me, and it hurt. Harsh pain I hadn't felt for what seemed like an eternity. It made it worse that I had shouted at her, hurt her, offended her. She couldn't have stopped what I had done. And that made her feel guilt, guilt that only I should have suffered.

_I've found a reason for me,_

_To change who I used to be,_

_A reason to start over new,_

_And the reason is you._

Before Alice, I had been with a coven of vampires, human hunters. The leader was the most malicious creature I had ever had the misfortune to come across. And at his side was a tracker and a female, a female who had tried to seduce me numerous times. I'm glad I refused her; she's nothing on Alice. Alice matters to me, without her, I'd still be in that coven.

_I'm sorry that I hurt you,_

_It's something I must live with everyday,_

_And all the pain I put you through,_

_I wish that I could take it all away,_

_And be the one who catches all your tears,_

_That's why I need you to hear._

I sought Alice out that afternoon, hoping she'd forgive me for my actions. I could feel the hurt and sadness radiating off her, as well as the grief at not seeing what I was going to do. But after that night…I had killed a girl, a life that could never be replaced. And Alice just forgave me in the blink of an eye. I had killed an innocent girl, no older than fifteen, no younger than thirteen. She had been walking down the dark street, and I had been hungry. Alice hadn't seen it, but she blamed herself, regardless. And that hurt me more than I could bear. I had shouted at Alice, blamed her, blinded by rage because of my own guilt. And I had taken it out on the one I loved.

_I've found a reason for me,_

_To change who I used to be,_

_A reason to start over new,_

_And the reason is you._

I met Alice while hunting. She had been hunting in the same area as I had, her hair tangled and matted, eyes wild. She had been hunting an animal, and she seemed to know me. She had known who I was, who my family were, everything. And I was young, naive, and transfixed by her beauty, regardless of the mess that hid it. I had given up my coven quickly, but giving up my lifestyle wasn't as simple. I still lusted for human blood, not animal's.

_I'm not a perfect person,_

_I never meant to do those things to you,_

_And so I have to say before I go,_

_That I just want you to know._

I walked out through the creaky corridor, and sat down beside Alice. She was trembling, the effect of having another vision. I touched her arm, and her eyes snapped to mine. I listened carefully to her talk about what she had seen, and I took in everything she did and felt. I felt her sadness when she talked about someone's death, her happiness when she talked about someone being born, everything. And half of the things I felt weren't even because of my power. It was because I knew her so well, because we had a…connection. As soon as we met, I felt it. Alice and I were joined, in a way I could never repeat.

_I've found a reason for me,_

_To change who I used to be,_

_A reason to start over new,_

_And the reason is you._

Words could never express how I felt towards Alice. They never would be able to. We didn't need words to tell each other how we felt. I knew Alice wouldn't hold my actions against me, and she'd forgive me. Because she loved me. And I loved her too. More than I could ever imagine.

_I've found a reason to show,_

_A side of me you didn't know,_

_A reason for all that I do,_

_And the reason is you._

**What did you think? Like it? Hate it? Either way, please leave me a review and I'll get back to you. Lol. I'd really love to know what you think of it, considering I have never done a Jasper and Alice fic, only Bella and Edward. So, this was challenging myself. **

**So please review, because I need to improve on my writing skills, and only reviews can let me know where I need to improve, if I need to improve, or whether I should just give up writing and read instead.**

**Just A Little Bit Dramatic**


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